Fiction: A Very Merry Unbirthday (505 words)

23 May

Chris found Lizzy just inside the front door when he came home from work.  She was leaning carefully against the wall, arms crossed, staring at a spot on the floor that seemed to have offended her greatly.  Immediately he tried to remember if he had promised to do something for her and was coming up dry. She hadn’t even seemed to notice that he was there yet—so he pressed his luck, wrapping an arm around her waist and leaning into give her a kiss.  “Everything alright?”

Lizzy smiled, sighed, and waved her hand in the general direction of the living room.  “I want you to know I had nothing to do with this, and please don’t hold it against me.”

Chris took a quick look over his shoulder, but couldn’t see into the living room from here.  He leaned in to whisper to Lizzy, “Should I be afraid?”

“If you want to be,” Lizzy shrugged, slipping out of Chris’s hold on her waist and taking the first step towards the living room, “After all, they are your sisters.”

Chris winced and went through the calendar in his head.  It was his half-birthday—which was his oldest sister’s idea of the perfect day to give someone a birthday surprise because “they wouldn’t see it coming.”   Since he’d been out-of-town for his last birthday, he really should have expected this.

He steeled himself for the worst and then followed Lizzy into the room.  He was immediately greeted with two-party blowers in the face from the younger sisters, and a vision much like a party store had come to his living room to die.  There were three separate banners that read ‘Happy Birthday’ and one that even said ‘Christopher,’ Streamers of the blue, green, red, and yellow variety, about a dozen balloons already in various states of deflating, and three wrapped presents sat on the coffee table near a cake that looked like it might have gotten a little bit squashed in transport.

“Surprise!” Charlotte, the oldest, laughed, throwing confetti into his hair, “We got you, didn’t we?”

“You sure did,” Chris offered his best smile, making eye contact with the thoroughly not impressed Lizzy now leaning against an entirely different wall.  “The thing is—Liz and I kind of had a date night planned…And I don’t want to ruin her night.”

“It’ll be quick,” Charlotte insisted, dragging Chris by the arm to sit on the couch, “We’ll have you in and out in no time.”  She patted him on the arm distractedly while she armed herself with more Confetti.

Chris gave Lizzy a ‘save me’ look, but she just shrugged again, helplessly.

I’ll see you in about four hours, she mouthed, painfully accurately for any situation involving his sisters, and then she slipped down the hall towards the bedrooms before she could be asked to join the festivities.    Chris barely had time to call her a traitor in his head before he was met with another face full of confetti.

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Posted by on May 23, 2017 in Stories


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