“I’m sorry, Hana,” Harlowe offered weakly. She said it because it was what she was supposed to say. She knew even as she said it to me that it didn’t mean a damn thing. That it wasn’t going to ease my mind or relax me in any way shape or form. She knew that sorry meant nothing at this point. “He was a good man,” She continued, again because it was what she was supposed to say. I knew he was a good man. I knew better than anyone that he was a good man. But then again–if anyone other than me knew that Conlyn was good man, then Harlowe would be the one who knew that.
Besides, being angry at Harlowe wasn’t going to change a thing. It wasn’t her fault he was gone. And if I was going to make it through this–I was going to need my big sister.
I turned to say something to Harlowe–thank her or whatever it was that I was supposed to say. But when I met her eyes, my lower lip started to quiver–and it was like I was seven years old again and my world was collapsing around my ears again. I tried not to blink while my eyes filled with tears, but then Harlowe was there, her arms wrapped around me. “It’s okay. It’s okay. You’ve done this before, you can do it again. I’ve got you.” Harlowe whispered in my ears, muttering other platitudes there as quickly and as quietly as she could manage.
“He’s gone. He’s gone and I don’t know what to do.” I sobbed.
“I know. I know. I got you. I got you.” Harlowe held me even tighter.
I don’t know how long we stood there. I don’t know when she got me over to the couch and sat me down. I don’t know when I laid down flat, or when I finally fell asleep. I know that it wasn’t until after that that Harlowe put a pillow under my head and wrapped me in a fleece blanket. I know it wasn’t until after I fell asleep that Harlowe made a cup of tea and put in on the little table next to the couch for when I woke up.
I didn’t feel any better when I woke up, but the tea helped to soothe my throat. And there wasn’t too much else I could do. My husband had just died. I had to find a way to survive. And I now knew without a doubt that my sister would be there to help me along every step of the way.
Because I hadn’t been sure before. But now it was good to know I’d have that to lean on.