We seriously need to sort out your letter writing priorities. You go on and on about how I must be a secret party animal even though neither of us believe that is actually true, but then you throw in a single line post script about having a boyfriend? No, no, dear, these are the kinds of things that you lead with. That you inform your poor sister of right off the bat. Honestly, where is your sense of sibling loyalty? So, come on woman, I expect details through your next means of communication. At the very least a last name so I can Facebook stalk him and make sure he’s the kind of person you should be going out with.
As for Mom and Dad, no you are on your own there. The idea of getting a C just makes me so anxious that—ack, no. You’re probably healthier for not having your happiness so closely tied to your grades, but I just couldn’t do it. Despite of the fact that I know you will tease me mercilessly, I am going to admit to you that I was disappointed to receive a B+ on that paper. I have rewritten it and do have a solid A now, but I am a little ashamed of myself to not get the A on the first go. Go on, get your laughing out of the way, I can handle it. You know, Mrs. Nocky will help you study if you need it. Although, you are just as smart as I am, so if you put any kind of effort into your studying anyway, I’m sure you wouldn’t be getting Cs.
Much like a magician, a good day care worker does not reveal her secrets, or agreements that she makes with small trouble makers. But, no, I did not threaten James and Richard with death, nor pain, nor anything of the matter. I appealed to their sense of greed, which works a lot better. Some may call it long-term bribery, but I just call it a tangible reward system for good behavior. Kind of the way Mom promised us a McFlurry for every ten days our room stayed clean. (Speaking of which, I’m sure it’s become a disaster area since I left in Christmas, so if you start cleaning now it might be presentable by the time I come home for spring break and I won’t have to rip all my hair out. Please start cleaning.) And Missy, bless her heart. Give her a kiss for me, and tell her she’s a beautiful little angel.
I don’t recognize that line from any movie off the top of my head, but I can’t say that I actually thought about it for very long. If I come up with something, I’ll let you know.
I am very sad that this is our last letter. There is something almost charming about writing letters back and forth. It’s oddly calming in its strange way. (But don’t let that cursed Mr. Hill know, or he’ll never let us hear the end of it.) I’ll miss your ridiculously large and loopy handwriting just as you’ll miss my tiny writing. You know, sometimes your words just look like a long series of circles, and it’s like trying to break a code determining which loops mean what.
Hi Mom. However, since Mom isn’t here, I am not going to go set the table, but instead eat cold pizza with a paper towel for a plate. Such are the freedoms of living away from home.
P.S. I don’t have a boyfriend, but if I did, you would hear about it in the ACTUAL LETTER. Seriously woman, details.