Madam Bad Example,
I am far more entertaining than a silly old paper, and I am sure that just basking in my imagined presence lent you the strength and motivation to write a superior paper. I expect news of your A++ paper in your next letter. Besides, I’m sure before you sat down to write my letter you already had all of your information researched and a detailed outline that was half the length of the paper just in its self. You’re weird.
As for the 11:47 call, that was a pocket dial—I mean, it was of course an error by the phone company because my phone was off and in my locker during school hours as required by Mill Dam High School rules, and I would never keep my phone in my pocket during class! (But no, it was a pocket dial, and I will be keeping my phone in my locker from now on, I’m sorry Mr. Hill)
Think, think, think. I was thinking of something to write to you earlier in class, and now—oh well, I guess it couldn’t have been that important. Life at home is actually pretty boring, or just as boring as they normally are. Dad is on a “wave of motivation” so of course he’s locked in the study for about twenty hours a day. Mom’s bratlings are crazy, but they always are. I think that’s why I miss you the most. For some reason I’ll never understand, you have that magical power over some of the demon spawn to make them sit down and shut up. I swear, James and Richard have gotten exponentially worse in your absence. The Identical Terrors. If you know some trick to making them shut up, please pass on your wisdom, for my sanity.
Tell me about your school. It’s got to be more entertaining that anything I can tell you about home. Mom says hi. Mom also says that we’re having VA Beach Chicken for dinner tonight. I don’t think that she really intended me to put that in the letter, but the part of me that is a cruel little sister put it in here to taunt you because I’m sure you wish you could be having VA Beach Chicken for dinner. Moohahaha.
Your little angel,