Dearest Darlingest Sister,
Okay, so you remember Mr. Hill’s history class? You remember the letter writing project? Well, guess who has two thumbs and the same assignment? This chick. Okay, so that actually works between when you can see me, but you get the point. I figured I might as well write you because you NEVER ANSWER YOUR PHONE when I call anyways. You know I’m only your only baby sister, struggling through the toils of high school. Maybe I have a life altering question to ask you. But no, it’s cool. Just let me go to voicemail. Speaking of which, I hope you’ve been listening to my voice mails, because they are works of art. ART, I say.
Anyway, even though I know that you have participated in Mr. Hill’s annual rant on technology—I mean, of course, his annual attempt to educate us on the way life was in the past—I still have to write out the rules for you, because the assignment says I have to.
This is an experiment in understanding communication from the past, when you couldn’t hop on Facebook or whip out your cell phone to communicate with people who did not live in your immediate area. Here is the assignment: You are to choose a “pen pal” that you will not see in person for the duration of the assignment. The only communication you may have with your pen pal is through handwritten letters, sent via the post office, for the duration of the assignment. That means no Facebook, no phone calls, no text messages, no e-mails, no other forms of technological communications that I am not yet aware of, only letters. For the assignment to be considered complete, you must send three letters and receive three letters in response from your pen pal. These letters will be turned into me at the end of the assignment, so please refrain from writing things you would not want to turn into me, and advise your pen pal to do the same. Also, ask your pen pal to return your letters with their replies so you will have all letters on hand when it is time to turn in. The assignment is due March 27th.
So, what say you, Beth dear? Think you can stand to write some letters to your sister, help her earn some easy points in history class? I’ll temporarily bump all my Facebook privacy setting so you can’t see me anymore. I know you will miss my ILLUMINATING statuses, but it’s a sacrifice you’ll just have to make to help me further my education. You’re a doll.
Your ever-loving sister,