Fiction: Dirty (489 words)

14 May

It was almost out of the blue when he turned to her and said “Am I a dirty old man?”

She laughed automatically before she could stop herself. “Are you a what?”

“Am I a dirty old man? I mean, I was hitting on you within a couple hours of meeting you, and you’re practically a baby.”

“I am nine years younger than you, yes, but I am also twenty eight, college educated, and run my own business, so I’m not practically a baby.  You could make the argument that I’m barely an adult if you like, but I’d still fight you pretty hard on that one.  If you truly think of me as a baby, you should probably not be sleeping with me. Just a theory. Also, it’s not like I was minding my own business and you just started hitting on me.  I was being pretty flirty myself, and I was more than willing to chat up the very attractive older man who’d peaked my interest.  Why are you so concerned with being a dirty old man all of a sudden?”

“I was talking to James–”

“Oh good. Here we go.”

“What? James is one of my best friends.”

“Yes, but he is not one of mine.  Of course, he’s putting things into your head like that.  He wants to guilt you into dumping me so that you two can be the boys on the town again. He misses his wingman.”

“I am an excellent wingman.”

“You are. And I would never want to prevent you from being a wingman for James.  I mean, you can’t jump on anymore friend grenades, please.  But otherwise, have fun.  Do whatever it is.”

“Then why do you think James is against you?”

“How many times have you been a wing man since we started dating?”

He stopped to think.  “Oh, goodness. Only twice.  But that’s not your fault.  I mean, it kind of is, but just because I’d rather stay in with you then go out and get drunk.  But, you’re not preventing me.”

“Does James know that? Or believe that?”

‘No–I guess he doesn’t.” He shook his head. “Do you really think that he would try to make me uncomfortable with our relationship just because he wants a mate to play with?”

“I don’t know if he does it on purpose–but he’s a little bit like a child, isn’t he?  He wants his toy back.  He sees me as having taken it away.  Really, can you blame him?”

“No. No, I suppose not.  I am a pretty awesome toy.”

She rolled her eyes, but kissed him softly. “You are a pretty awesome toy.”

They returned to their silent pursuit of hobbies, but then he looked up again quickly. “So, we’re agreed.  I’m not a dirty old man.”

She laughed. “We are agreed. You are not at all a dirty old man. Or at the very least, not with me.”


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Posted by on May 14, 2015 in Stories


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