It was entirely an irrational thought, even as he let out a giggle, he knew he shouldn’t.
For a moment, David’s brain took him back in time. He was fourteen years old, knelling in a little shack in the woods that was a bit lopsided but not really that bad considering that he and River had built it with their own hands when they were only nine years old. River was sitting close to him, smiling, her eyes bright. He decide in that moment he was finally going to kiss her. He was going to tell her that he loved her and he was really hoping that she would feel the same way.
He kissed her, and she kissed him back, but then she pulled away and in probably the most unusual post kiss exclamation she told him “I don’t believe in the Soothsayer’s prophecies.”
They had a discussion that David never meant to have, and they both lost their tempers a time or two. David laid in bed that night, wondering how he could love River and everything that she was, but still believe in everything The Order said, and found a way to make the order fit in his head. It had never been a question of whether or not he still loved River—he knew even then, even if he didn’t realize it at the time, that anytime he had to choose between River and anything else, He would always chose River. Every time.
What he should have done then was say he didn’t care—he still loved her. He should have kissed her again and again and as often as she wanted him to. He should have promised her that her secret was safe instead of becoming a bit standoffish, unsure how to want to be near her and be a member of the order. He should have, above all else, been a friend to her always,–but he’d failed her, miserably. And now he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to make it up to her, but he was going to start trying…
So, whenever another heavy boot came in contact with his side, he let out another giggle. When Brother Christopher leaned down over him and said “Now, now, Brother David. One little girl isn’t worth dying for, is she?” David just giggled again.
Brother Christopher thought he would win because he knew David so very well. He’d been David’s mentor, and all he ever saw from David was polite obedience, and respect for the man he was loyal to. But, Brother Christopher didn’t understand that David’s loyalty didn’t stop with the order. So, as Brother Christopher was sure he would win, David just giggled.